Saturday, November 05, 2005

Tally Ho

The hunting debate has started again this year and once again both sides are preparing to
drag their jaded arguments out in front of a largely disinterested public.As usual you have your wide-eyed fanatics entrenched on both sides of the debate,but by and large the general
public have no interest in it as it has little or no bearing on their daly lives.This is not true as it is one of our great traditions,and must be protected at all costs or before we know it,they'll be introducing hospital waiting lists and legalising bullying at school and work.Don't
put up with it,the hunting of politicians with journalists must be protected at all costs.

Only last week we were treated to the magnificent sight of a baying pack in full pursuit of
a dishonest and arrogant pensions secretary.The fact that Mr. Blunkett was most concerned
with adding to his own pension being the reason for the chase,which was concluded
sucessfully and satisfactorily for all concerned,except,of course,Mr. Blunkett.But at least his
career died with the knowledge that it died by throwing the pack off the scent of the real

This pack are now,as we speak,in pursuit of a large infestation of polititians said to have
gone to ground in Argentina,where the notorious leader of a rogue state is said to be among
them."our tails are really up for this now."said one journalist as he sipped from his Brandy
glass in the cold crisp morning air,his breath exhaled like cigarette smoke in a scene from
Casablanca,his nostrils flaring like a racehorse on the gallops.

Not all packs and huntsmen behave in a fair and sporting way,as we know,and bring
discredit to all,good and bad alike.Two weeks ago we had the disgusting and distasteful
actions of a few vindictive and amateurish "Journalists"from the Sunday Independent
hunting down a fatally injured prey.Having mocked and ridiculed his death ,then proceeded
to try to trample over his home,mate and young in a most dicpicable and unsporting

All packs can only endeavor to reach the dizzy heights of the level set by the legendary
huntsmen of the 60s.Stories of their prowess are legion,and misty-eyed journalists tell their
children that its because of huntsmen like these,they became journalists in the first place.
The same children,eyes like saucers,would be told how the brave Woodward and Bernstein,
against all odds,hunted through the dark forest known only as Watergate,infested by lies
and cover-ups,to land the big one .Their names have gone down in the annals of history,
and its because of men like these that we cannot allow hunting to be abolished.Prohibition
would only drive it underground,leaving us with magazines like Private Eye and Phoenix to
get our kicks from.

There is no greater sight than that of a politician in full flight,as he zigzags cross country
trying to throw the scent off,followed by a pack of baying journos with their tails up and
bloodlust in their eyes.Besides,isn't it fucking great craic?


El Barbudo said...

The best kind of politician hunting is when the general public is involved. However, sweeping new anti-terrorist legislation was brought in to combat it, as was demonstrated at the Labour Party Conference when, after a man muttered "Nonesense" at Jack Straw, was forced out of the hall and refused to be let back in, under Section 44 of the Terrorism Act.

Not like the good old days when you you could hurl an egg at John Prescott and expect him to personally thump you. None of this Fucking Terrorism Act in those days.

Are the days of the general public baying for blood gone forever? Are we only left with the journalists in the pay of Murdoch to do it for us?

Sad times

the anti-barney said...

Don't know about you el B.but I'm
quite likely to be found,foaming at
the mouth,on most days,without the need for any journalistic input.

Dr Maroon said...

That'll be the Steredent

Dr Maroon said...

Now that the silly season of starvation war and natural disasters is over we can get back to proper fare of used Johnny-bags in dustbins, long range tit shots on Caribbean beaches and big streaks of piss being “chinned“ by 5 foot Sun editors. Who can forget those tasteful stolen beaver pics of Diana in the gym? I know I can’t. You somehow can’t picture Camilla the same way.. Oh I dunno…YOIKS HALLOOO!

El Barbudo said...

I see the links are beginning Anti-B. Just get rid of the "bin/" after the "" and it'll work as efficiently as a whore in a Taiwanese brothel.

the anti-barney said...

Nope,fucked that up too,Barbie,
still,I'm getting closer then I'll see whom I REALLY want to link to.

Dr Maroon said...

Did you say "whom"? I'm not sure I like the way this is going.

El Barbudo said...

For Fucks sake barney, you'll have me turning into that Scottish web designer. I can't put those angular brackets into a comment without blogger turning it into a fucking link, so I'll use square brackets [] and you'll need to change them for the angular ones <>

In your links section, but using angular brackets, type:

[li][a href=""]Beard of the Prophet[/a][/li]

Now that's the last fucking time I'm helping anyone. I've got a fucking reputation to keep up.


the anti-barney said...

Puff puff,getting there,1 outa 3
is'nt bad.

the anti-barney said...

Yay I did it,i'm an I fuckin'T
expert,now to figure out how to get
that dour,humorless scotsman off
my links.

El Barbudo said...

Well done that man! I do declare a bit of beard tugging to be in order!