Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thankfuck Day

The nice lady doctor had warned me about it so it should have
come as no surprise to me that after three days without a
drink I have developed the side effect known as (gulp)
the Galloping Neo-cons.The symptoms are that my
eyes have been opened as never before,and so far,the
following truths have become apparent to me ;

(a) The twin towers were not attacked by a bunch of
cave-men who got lucky,but were destroyed by the
master criminals of al-Queda.

(b)Al-Queda was not a figment of the fertile mind of
George Bush who did not need a real Bogey-man to
frighten the American people and to prise more money
from Congress.

(c) The biggest threat to world peace,harmony and
prosperity is al-Queda,an organization richer,more
evil and more powerful than S.M.E.R.S.H.,S.P.E.C.T.R.E.,
the K.G.B. or the Klingons could ever hope to be.

(D)Saddam fully intended to conquer the world and
did have weapons of mass-destruction,we just didn't
find them,yet.

(e) Not all Muslims are evil but you can trust nobody in
the middle-east who is not Jewish or Christian.

(f)George Bush did not plan to bomb al-Jazeera.

(g) David Kelly was not murdered by M.I.5 /6 or any
other spooks.

(h) Barney is not evil and may well be the second
coming of our saviour.

The fidgets and shakes are back so I'll finish my
truths here for today but feel free to add your own
on this thankfuck day.


Dr Maroon said...

Any Citizen born in America can be President.

Al-Queda was not set up by the CIA to fight the Russians in Afghanistan.

Saudi Arabians had nothing to do with it. (anything, ever).

Islam is a modern, tolerant philosophy.

Al Jazeera makes well-balanced thoughtful programmes to inform and entertain.

“Our boys” in Cyprus (of all places) were 45 minutes from being gassed with anthrax. (Or 4 hours if they went back to Porton.)

The Ku Klux Klan does a lot of unpublicised work for charity.

Donald Rumsfeld is a funny funny guy at dinner parties.

Glasgow Rangers will win the European Cup and host the second visit of the Pope to the city.

(That’s quite enough Neoconisms thanks. AB)

Brewski said...

Also, Dick Cheney has not succumbed to his God-complex, and deserves in no way to be sectioned.
Condoleeza Rice is in no way involved in Plamegate.
Joseph Wilson is not a mild-mannered individual whose wife is in mortal danger with many former associates dead, or on borrowed time.
Karl Rove is not an utter cunt.
Rendon didn't market the war for his PNAC friends.
The Bush dynasty is in no way connected to the Third Reich and the hoax that is the money markets.
The world has not gone mad.

Charlie said...

The CIA's Special renditions are free holidays for very lucky people.

the anti-barney said...

Fuckin' deadly,and anyone who disagrees with any or all of the above are just a bunch of dirty birdies who give succour to those folks that hate America.

Binty McShae said...

Don't forget domestic policy:

Bush was NOT slow to react to Hurricane Katrina.

The reason he was NOT slow is because he DOES care about those poor coloured folk that don't vote for him.

My Word Verification is qvcniv.... is that a bible being sold on the shopping channel?

the anti-barney said...

Thanks for input Binty.I set the W.V. myself,the acronym reads;
Questioning Very Convincing Neo-cons In Vain.

Brewski said...

You are incorrect! I have hacked AB's shit, and it actually stands for Quietly, Venal Cunting Neo-cons Invite Vacuum.