I don't hate women drivers,nor do I belong to that school of thought that compares
women drivers to dogs walking on their hind legs.I.e.its not how well or badly they do it,its
amazing they can do it at all.No,I don't hate women drivers,I hate all fuckin' drivers.Each and
every one of the bastards have no other purpose in life but to delay and irritate me.They come from miles away to cut me up,slow me down and block my gateway.I get road-rage
just thinking about making a journey.Some gobshite in my local suggested that as I am
inactive at the moment,I might consider trying my hand at taxi-driving,me who hates fuckin'
people and abhors fuckin' driving.On the other hand maybe they're the exact qualifications
By a strange and cruel twist of irony,my sister.Jennie,has decided to start driving,not a
problem as such,except that I've become involved in the whole process.I'd had no intentions
of interfering untill I heard she was searching through "Buy & Sell " for a car.Now I know
what type of cunt sells stuff in this rag,having unloaded plenty of shite in it myself,and I
would'nt buy anything off me.To cut a long story short,I organized a grand little runner
for her and its been out in my driveway since.Jennie,being the honest,straight and decent
person that she is (she's the white sheep of the family ),taxed and insured the car and booked
herself a set of driving lessons,two Months ago.
Fair enough,sez you,ten one hour lessons.do everything right,bobs your uncle,but all the lessons have been in the instructors own dual-controlled car,not worth a bollix, sez I.So,
last Sunday,bright and early,I collected Jennie,to let her drive her own car,acclimatise,if you
will,and to give her some experience and confidence.Well,she was'nt too bad,no worse or
better than any other learner,but I'm fucked if I know what she's been taught for ten lessons,
it must have been knitting or the theory of evo-fuckin'-lution,but it certainly was'nt driving.
It transpired that she had never been in fourth gear,and when we pulled in to an empty
car-park to do some reversing,she'd never tried that either.What.Any semi-competent
half-witted imbecile of an instructor could train a monkey to drive in ten fuckin hours.As I
said,its not as if Jennie is any better or worse than any other learner,and all drivers are not the same ,but ten hours instruction without touching fourth gear or reverse is what I call
taking the piss.