Wednesday, January 18, 2006

True Love Ways.

Doctor Tim was in particularly good form last night and it
took little coaxing to find out why.Halfway down his second
snifter he began,

"I took my wife out for a meal over the weekend to mark
our anniversary,"he beamed,"the food was divine,the
service excellent and the wine was just right.The band had
made the atmosphere just perfect and having dropped the
band-leader a few bob to play our tune,Gloria almost swooned
in my arms as we rounded off the evening with a dance.We each
had a Hennessy before going to bed and when we'd finished
making love,I'd swear she was floating on air."

With a silly smile on his face he finished his drink and ordered
another.Theres no answer to that,or so I thought.Willow replied,

"Same here,I took the missus out for a few pints and had a
chinese on the way home.When the sex was over she must
have been a foot over the bed."

The Jockey,who had been quiet up to this,piped up,

"Thats nothing,me and the mot had a rake of gargle on Sunday
afternoon and we shared a fish'n'chips as we walked home.
When I'd finished riding the arse off her I wiped me micky on
the curtains and she hit the fucking roof."


fatmammycat said...

What is it with mickeys and jizz today?

Gorilla Bananas said...

And the fourth guy is Jimmy the junkie, or whatever you want to call him, he and his woman snort cocaine before they have sex, and then they hit the roof fucking.

If you write that up better than I can, AB, you could put it at the end of the post.

Foot Eater said...

Back in South Africa there's a beverage called Lion Lager, which is known as Honeymoon In A Boat because it's fucking close to water.

Sorry if that's an old joke; I know some of them don't travel well.

Dr Maroon said...

Your post reminds me just how long it's been since I enjoyed the lustful earthy carnal pleasures of a fish supper. This isn't any old fish, this is deep fried haddock in batter, these aren't any old chips, these are dripping
I can't be arsed. I hate that fucking advert, and what's more it's put me off that dame (the one who played Asumpta in the fantasy Irish thing) and I used to like her an all.

the anti-barney said...

Fmc.,its supposed to be good for the complexion,could be.
G.B.,I wouldn't dream of rewriting
the byline of such an astute observer and accomplished story-teller as yourself.
Footsie,I thought I told you to fuck off,4 clicks I wasted on your blonde,whats the record ?
Mushy peas Doc.,what about the mushy peas ?

Foot Eater said...

Fuck you, AB. I posted this comment a day before that blonde post on my blog.

the anti-barney said...

Yes,and I posted mine after I saw your poxy blond and am still pissed off with it.

SafeTinspector said...

Right. I've linked you.

the anti-barney said...

Thanks Mr.T,will recip.,welcome aboard.