Once again the notion of a force of Garda Reserves has been
suggested by Justice Minister Michael mcDowell,and they
are to be given powers of arrest after just twelve two-hour
training sessions and a weekend on the piss,otherwise known
as a "Getting to know you " session.Chief among the many
objectors are the permanent Gardai,who have to complete
55 weeks training before being let loose on the public.
Garda spokesman Sean Backhander said,
"This is a dreadful state of affairs,we will lose all credibility
with the public ,all respect will be gone.",before adding
"Its not as easy as people might imagine,getting things for
nothing off people.",shaking his head ruefully.
The facts seem to bear this out and a new Garda has been
found to need a probationary period of three or four months
following Graduation,including on-the-beat patrols with an
experienced Garda,before even thinking about lining his
A new recruit on his first day in training at Templemore is
taught to ask,
"Do I owe you anything for that ?"., when buying anything
from a newspaper to a second-hand car,or for any services
from a puncture repair to a wall being built.No shop-keeper
or trades-man likes dealing with the force as its usually near-
impossible to get paid off the cunts.Some traders feel that its
nice to have a Garda or two on their side but it usually proves
to be a false security because if you are unfortunate enough to
be caught for something,chances are you'll be told.
"I can't do anything for you,yer man is a proper bastard and
won't play the game."
If you don't bother your bollocks asking one of the cunts you'll
"Jasus,why didn't you come and see me,that could've been
Aye,a proper shower of cunts,but what type of cunt would
want to be a volunteer Garda Reserve officer ?Take a look
around you,you know the type,they're the very ones who
should never be selected.Be afraid !