Tuesday, January 10, 2006


I've been giving this blogging thing some thought and
have come to the conclusion that I for one spend far
too much time with it.This is partly due to my techno-
imbecility and my ponderous one-fingered typing,so I
suppose its a wonder that I can produce a post atall.Our
little blogging community is so small and insigificant in
the huge world that it is unlikely we will ever meet each
other,or even meet anyone who has ever read any of
our blogs.I tried this at the weekend by exclaiming loudly
enough; I tug my beard at you with respect,Brewski'd
love this or the Doc. won't be pleased with Celtic several
times and in different places.While I wasn't locked up I
certainly received my share of odd looks and askew
glances,go ahead,try it yourself.

What brought this about was a post or comment by
Barbie and,I think Andraste ( I can't be arsed checking,
never let facts spoil a good post is what I say )about
saying things in your blog that you wouldn't say in
public !!Bollocks,why the fuck not.Whats the point in
having people around if you can't abuse them,verbally
I mean.Sure,sometimes you have to tone it down a
little if you're looking for something off,say a bank
manager or a boss or your spouse.But if you don't get
it,then let them have it as well,both barrels.

This is all very well,says you,coming from someone
hiding behind a pseudonym,and you're right except my
reason for doing so is to prevent my ill-gotten gains
from being taken off me by litigants I have insulted and
fully intend to insult in the future, unintentionally,of
course.Mostly I have always said what needed to be
said,to the point of being a social phsycopath,which I've
been told I am and have cut great chunks off my nose
to spite my face.I would like to think that most of our
incestuous little community are reasonably honest and
true to themselves but you never know,we might not
like each other should we ever meet.Dr. Maroon comes
across as a decent man,Brewski and Barbie you could
have a pint with but you don't know,they could be all
middle-aged women.Theres a bit of craic about Fmc. and
Andraste but they could be nuns,mother-superiors even.
For all we know they could all be teenage computer-

Just thought I'd mention it,that all,but isn't it great craic.


El Barbudo said...

You reflect my own thoughts on this a fair amount Anti-B. While the fun is had in taking people at face value and assuming that everyone who says they are male is male, who says they are female is female, and says they're an ape is an ape, the chances are everyone here is a fucking liar at some level because we all chose to play under a pseudonym.

Despite that, I sometimes feel closer to this bunch of misfits than a lot of the people around me, which really is fucking scary. And I've seen Doc get quite sentimental about us on more than one occasion. Although he did back out of the chance to have lunch with the bearded scotsman, who is the only fucker I know who does appear to blog under his own name.

Even footeater is starting to become more real since he started his own blog and stopped trying to think he could impress people with farty little comments and then run away.

It's crossed my mind at some point to hold some kind of poll to see who people think I might be behind the beard - male/female, belgian/taiwanese, aged 20 or 83 etc. Maybe when I get really fucked off with blogging I'll give a prize out to anyone who can guess my real identity. Then again, maybe I've have to move countries again.

Unusually introspective tonight. Wish I had a drug of choice to blot out for a few hours.

Binty McShae said...

I concur! I too feel like I enjoy the company of you all more than people who I have actually met. It was really depressing over Christmas when these blogs were being neglected and I realised that you all actually had lives to lead and you were not just there for my amusement.

The Irish blogging community apparently had a get-together not so long ago, but since everyone I read seems spaced out (in both senses of the phrase) across the globe it seems pointless to even consider something similar.

But no matter - I care not how old or what sex any of you really are... I see these 'faces' as how we all see ourselves anywa, always much more interesting!

Brewski said...

I also concur! Blogging is fucking great, and the peeps like you that I've 'met' through blogs are funny as fuck. Loopers, all! Be fucking weird to meet you though. Good weird.

Foot Eater said...

'The anti-barney' is a pseudonym? Fuck me.

El B, I reckon Lindy K comes close to blogging under her own name. But perhaps she's lying like the rest of us.

Binty McShae said...

And I have it on good authority that Jokemail is almost using his real name, Joe K'Mayal. But perhaps I'm lying like the rest of us too.

Dr Maroon said...

What was I gonna do? Say
“pardon me while I fuck off up the road 50 miles to meet Kim?
“and who is this Mr K Ayres?
“he’s my internet pen pal”
“the one from Rolls Invicta?”
“no, the one from Dumfriesshire”
“important meeting?
“well there could be haddock and chips”
“hmmm, let’s talk when you get back”

Even so, I toyed with it. I was going to sit there anonymously in the bar, another problem, sitting in the bar drinking soft drinks, I just can’t do it! Anyway, sit there in the bar and when I recognised him, introduce myself with some sort of flourish. How wankey is that?

No Barney, the one that worries me is Fatmammycat. I have my picture, and if she’s an actual female, she passes the test, if she’s an old man in a trench coat jacking off at night, I’ve got problems.

I have a pretty firm picture of Mr G Bananas as well, but that’s not for here.

I have nominated you for an Irish Blogging Award, so you better punt out some snappy posts. They’ll be watching. No pressure.

Dr Maroon said...


Copy and paste to see your nomination.

the anti-barney said...

Thank you Doc.,but what makes you think I'm Irish.Have to try and figure out what copy and paste is now.

Andraste said...

I use a pseudonym because someone who works for my university got fired for her blog (to be honest, she had said some threatening things about co-workers, guns and whatnot, used her real name and posted the link in her work e-mails, which was REALLY stupid).

But I do stand behind what I say in my blog. I don't blast it out there out of context or swear quite so much in certain situations, but it's pretty much true to my inner dialogue. A lot of my friends and acquaintances read my stuff, and know that I've blasted on about all the stuff I write about more than just in the blog. Probably to the point of boredom for them, but whatever.

Anyway, my point is that I'm having a lot of fun with it. My profile is honest, and the only reason I don't post pictures of myself is that I want to keep some anonymity. I am very shy and don't want to be recognized in the street. Plus, the camera does not love me.

I forgot where I was planning to go with this. Maybe I'll say more later.

fatmammycat said...

Oh Barney, was it the gin? You are being sentimental today. Any road, you are right, but I like our little clique. I work from home and it can be throughly boring not having a crowd of co-workers to chat/snipe/flirt/gossip with, and blogging fills that void delightfully.
There may be the occasional lie to cover identity, but that is for the greater good sometimes, last thing a gal wants is mother ringing up and saying in a shocked non-tupperware party voice, 'Did you really write that?'
'That...filth, I was looking for gardening shears and I was directed to topiary and-'
'Sorry Ma, gotta run!'

Now, here are some absolutes about me. I am female, very. I am open-minded, like high heels-even though I am tall. I am not a nun, really do like my exercise, do have auburn hair and delightful ankles, and my tush is growing back a slightly different colour.
Kissy kissy.

the anti-barney said...

Thank you all for your,ahem,honesty.

LindyK said...

Footsie, I hate to disappoint, but even I'm not silly enough to use my name... it's an old nickname. But the pics are, indeed, yours truly, for whatever that's worth. And no, I wouldn't post anything I wouldn't stand up for -- where's the fun in that?!

the anti-barney said...

Fuck me Lindy,I would've lost money on that.Jeez,you can't trust anyone.

SexyBeauty said...

Anti-B - This virtual thing is much more fun than meeting - it's a true meeting of minds with no prejudices on accents, appearance, body language etc. I still imagine Dr Maroon as a youngish Art Malek..mmmm! And isn't the brain the sexiest thing? Remember that movie where the guy fell in love with the female brain in the lab? I once made the mistake of meeting up with people from a universtity blog, expecting lots of Colin Farrel lookalikes - and I'm ashamed to say I stopped reading the blogs after I'd met them! We can't help judging by appearances!

Kim Ayres said...

Hi Anti-Barney. I know I've not commented on your blog before, although I have been enjoying reading it for some time, having found you through our mutual blog-pal Dr M.

I found this string of comments based around honesty and anonymity particularly interesting as I am, to use El B's turn of phrase, one of the only fuckers I know who blogs under his own name.

On the downside, it does mean that there are times when I can't say exactly what I think about a particular person or set of circumstances because of the obvious fall-out.

However, on the upside it does eliminate problems of the type sexybeauty writes about, because if you have read my blog you'll have a pretty good idea who I am before you meet me.

I still haven't figured out for definite which is the best way to blog, but I do find it easier this way. I'd be crap at trying to keep a secret identity because I don't have a memory good enough to sustain a long term lie. Sooner or later I'd end up giving away so many clues about who I was that people'd be able to work it out anyway.

But as you say, isn't it great craic?

ric said...