Sunday, January 29, 2006

Kitty O'Shea's,Molly Bloom's,Etc.

If theres anything more pathetic than" Irish Pubs " around the
world,its the sad wankers that frequent them.Irish pubs in
Ireland are bad enough but the "Plastic Paddy "version you
come across everywhere else are the pits,the dingle-berries
on the arse-hole of society.

It would be bad enough for some raggidy-haired Continental
saddo mandolin player to wander in ,searching for like-minded
noise-polluters to have a session,but for an Irishman to go into
one,to actually search for one is an abomination.

To go to a strange and exotic city is a wonderful experience and
a great privilige and only comparatively recently available to
the masses,why would you want to waste even one minute of
your experience in a pastiche of what you have left behind.Not
to mention that you pay through the bollix for the pleasure.The
owners and management know what you are willing to pay
for drink at home and charge you accordingly when you visit
their establishment,often twice the local price.

My first encounter with an Irish Bar was in Lanzarote in the 80s
and we were invited to a Reps. meeting the day after arrival,in
an Irish bar,for info. and free Sangria.Having spat out the piss-
water Sangria I ordered two pints and a quick Peseta/Punt
calculation told me I was after paying about 2.50 per pint,same
as Dublin.This was quite a shock for me as I had been led to
believe that the gargle was "for nuthin' "in the Canaries.I might
have been none the wiser had they not driven us out by playing
some diddley-eye shite that some cunt had brought over.Down
the road we went on a pub crawl with the pint getting progress-
ively cheaper,I think we ended up paying about 80p a pint,the
thieving Irish bastards.

On the odd occasion I've been in one since,I've noticed that they
have as much in common with an Irish bar as green beer,the
staff weren't Irish,the owners weren't Irish and the music,well
they wouldn't dare play it in any bar I frequent.Thats only if the
poxy Karaoke isn't on,and/or some football-match blaring,how
is there always a match on ?

Irish Bars and the wankers who go into them deserve each other.


Clairwil said...

Those plastic Irish pubs are an abomination. I'm amazed the haven't killed the Irish tourist industry.

On a happier note you've been nominated in a Blog of The Week contest.

Dr Maroon said...

Barney: First, congrats on your nomination. If you wait by the river, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by.

On the second point, what about all those English pubs (Big Ben, Union Jack’s, Rat and Firkin) you see in resorts? Run by ex police and council officials who couldn’t pour a glass of water to save their fucking lives? And worse, the fucking Scotch ones ( Clansman Bar. The Highlander, Rob Roy’s) please God save me from them!
The only thing wrong with plastic Irish pubs is the shamrock on the Guinness which is gay.
I agree about the music on the endless tape. (Jimmy Shand in the Scottish bars). When will they realise you’ve got to be drunk to enjoy that stuff. Semi-sober at 10 in the morning it sounds gash.

michael the tubthumper said...

i agree, but there is one thing some of these bars can be good for and that is if you happen to be abroad and celtic are playing.

Foot Eater said...

I went to an English pub in the heart of Moscow two years ago. Fantastic Guinness, and an overwhelmingly agreeable ambience. There's no punchline to this comment, I just thought I'd share a happy holiday experience.

fatmammycat said...

O'Flaherty's bar just off the Ramblas is the only place to get a decent hangover breakfast in Barcelona. But other than that is is a load a' me hoop.

Anonymous said...

Vaporise Barney once bit off the head of a raw fish right in front of me.

the anti-barney said...

Dear anonymous,GLARK,I've often
bitten the heads off fish,and other things so fuck off,whoever you are.

Binty McShae said...

Well AB, congrats on the nom... and I must say I'm chuffed that 'Glark' has entered our vocabulary!

As for fake pubs they are everywhere... in the UK there are fake 'caribbean' pubs or 'italian' wine bars. Some are stupidly expensive, and they can fuck right off, but others (there are a couple I frequent here, as well as 'local' bars) are alright. It's like food... when I lived in the UK I didn't eat UK food every night... just because I'm in Asia doesn't mean I don't occasionally want to eat or drink somewhere with a non-asian feel.

Stella said...

I can't stand the "Irish" pubs (with the diddlyidel bleedin music) here so there is no way I'd set foot in one abroad.