Friday, March 31, 2006

New Leaves.

I was fuckin' mouldy last night,in the screaming horrors.I had so
much drink aboard that every time I leant forward some of it
spilled out.No particular reason,availability and a willing body
and mind is all it took.But thats it, game over,end of.I have seen
the light both literally and figuratively,a blinding flash.

It was about 9.30,I suppose as I staggered outside to get a taxi
home when I stumbled and fell across the footpath.It was like a
scene in one of those shows where people send in tapes of som-
one making a bollix of themselves,where the person is falling
forward for ages before collapsing in a heap.It was when I tried
to get up and rolled over on my back,struggling like a tortoise,
that the blinding flash hit me and my whole life flashed before
me.A lifetime of evil thoughts and deeds unfolded before my
eyes as if it was a David Lean epic and I resolved there and
then to change my life.

Since this blog is a fairly close depiction of my life,it too will
show all the changes manifest in me.Next week I propose to
reveal my real identity and begin a more family oriented type
of diary/blog.I will discuss community affairs and publish a
recipe each day,starting on Monday with my recipe for whole
stuffed dog.I will also be keeping you informed about my
fights against alcohol and cigarettes and in general about my
efforts to be a better person.

So lets do it together,one day at a time.

Update ;Bollocks , I didn't mean to publish that till tomorrow.


Foot Eater said...

You taking the piss?

fatmammycat said...

Of course he is. Change, pfft, I am against it.

Dr Maroon said...

I don't think he is. He's been threatening us with fucking recipes ever since he started. You watch, it'll all be stuff like " take the hindquarter of a doe, rub with goosefat and garlic..."

That "taking an age to fall over" is the most hellish experience, especially if the wife sees the neighbours watching. Oh Fuck! BAD!

But if you're on your own or with your mates, it's a fucking laugh.

Kim Ayres said...

That will be the I used to be an unfit, overweight slob but and am now a highly trained athletic kickboxer Fat-Ihatechange-mammycat I take it.

fatmammycat said...

That's not change, that's 'evolving'. I evolved into a lean mean fighting machine.

Binty McShae said...

Meant to post it tomorrow? Happy A.F. Day yerself, you sly fucker!

the anti-barney said...

First up,best dressed,eh Binty.