Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Barbie Moment

I had a "Barbie"moment or moments last week when the
thought of giving up blogging seemed attractive.None of us,
except Kim perhaps ,will ever know why the great El Barbudo
decided to call it a day and I will miss his incandescent rages
and semi-pornographic meanderings.In my case I had just
become a little bored with it and it was starting to become
a chore,something to have to do.Now the surest way to stop
me from doing something is to try to force me to do it,so you
can see where my head was at.

There was also the added distraction of Cheltenham being on
and while I wasn't there phsyically,I was there in mind and
spirit and serious racing is very time-consuming.What really
effected my though and I honestly don't know why ,was the
photo's somebody posted from the Irish Blog awards.

I had been reading Twenty's Blog about him winning (fair play
to the little bollix,he thoroughly deserved them) all before him
and he mentioned some photos that were up somewhere,I can't
be arsed to look them up now,but I did then.What struck me
was how ordinary everyone looked,I don't know what I expect-
ed them to look like,but whatever it was,they weren't it.In
other words they didn't look like me,do they look like you ?
I have been accused of many things in my life but being or
looking ordinary is not one of them but those clowns are
taking ordinariness to a new level.Until a little while ago I
wasn't even aware of an Irish blogging scene,the only two I
follow are Twenty and the divinely -ankled Fatmammycat,
feeling much more at home here among the Scots,Brits and a
few Americans whose wrists aren't dragging along the ground.
Which is fine since I have very few Irish readers either so
fuck 'em,but as I say,those photos phased me.

So anyway I decided to cut back a little,or maybe to omit all
comments as this is very time-consuming also,and since I
wasn't going to allow comments,I reasoned that I would
forfeit my right to comment elsewhere,so more time saved.
Having mitched away from the blogosphere for a week,I
posted what was to be one of my last few utterings and
relaxed,having made the decision turned to read one of my
favourites,yes,Barbie,the bearded wonder.

My heart sank a little more as I read each sentence of his
farewell blog,almost misty-eyed by the end,as I realized how
much I'll miss the cunt.Then I thought how much I'd miss
all you cunts out there so fuck yis,yis are stuck with me for a
little while yet.


Brewski said...

Thank fuck for that. You had me worried for a minute you fucker.

LindyK said...

I'm glad we didn't lose the both of you at the same time... cheers to sticking with us, Barnes!

Jagd Kunst said...

You have blog awards in ireland? fuckn hell.

Monstee said...


El B and AB gone in same week! ...nope. Just too sad to think about.

Me am all for taking breaks when needed, but thanks AB for not pussin out an quiting on us.

Dr Maroon said...

Well said! You should always feel free to stop whenever you want. When one experiences an obligation to write something down or to entertain, any pleasure can quickly evaporate.

Everyone has curiosity wired into their brains, which means that we are fascinated even by the everyday doings of those around us. Unkind people call this ‘being a nosey bastard’, but without it, human progress would be stunted. We’d all be too scared to open our traps about anything and would go quietly into The Dark.

We are not important people, our views are not recorded for posterity, we will not leave earth shattering written tracts to be quoted and argued over by future history and English Lit. majors. (LindyK might)

Of our circle of friends and family in the real world, we’ve had most conversations before. We know their views, understand their prejudices; we can guess how most conversations will proceed.

Not so here. Here, we are free, we can find some form of expression among strangers. It’s great stuff.

Kim Ayres said...

I'm glad you decided to stick around AB.

We put ourselves out there, tentatively, and suddenly we get respect and kudos for something we've written.

Don't we all love respect and kudos!

So now we want to repeat that, and for a time we pour vast amount of creative energy into our stories, anecdotes, visions or bile (whatever it is that's bringing in the respect).

And we get more readers, more kudos.

And suddenly we realise that people are turning up to read all this and that if we want to keep up this respect then we have to keep producing the goods.

Now the pressure is on and the fun starts to go out of it.

The very thing that gave us the high is now draining the enjoyment out of us and we resent it.

Eventually we will either quit or find a happy(ish) level to continue at.

I'm still struggling to find the right balance. I think I'm beginning to get there by rarely posting more than twice a week on my main blog, once on the weight-loss blog and sharing the building and posting responibilities of Blunt Cogs with Sarah and Monstee.

If you post every now and then, and comment here and there, then I will keep enjoying your company. Sure I'd like more, but better some than none.

Don't feel that you have to be something more than you are: I'll still like you anyway.

Same applies to you Doc, if you're listening in.

Dr Maroon said...

"Don't feel that you have to be something more than you are"

What do you mean by that? The "Opera" was a fucking work of art. Damned philosophers always pulling everything to bits. Anyway, when the daylight lengthens, I think there are more calls on our time. It might be as simple as that. It's much easier to sit in with a drink and rattle away, when it's dark and raining at 4:30 pm.

I'm going to write a book.
What you think of them onions?

SheBah said...

AntiB - glad you're staying with us. The Irish Blog Award group was interesting, and you maybe expect bloogers to look like Hollywood stars (which of course I do!)- tell us, how do you imagine each of us look? I see you as a sort of Irish Robert de Niro, and Doccy Maroon as Art Malik. And does it matter, with all the brains and wisdom on show in this group? I know I'd adore FMC, even if she looked like Vanessa Feltz.

Brewski said...

Go on my old son!

Brewski said...

Myself and Sexy B appear to be posting at the same time. The above encouragement was directed at the Good D. I'd read a book written by the clever bastard.

Dr Maroon said...

If she looked like a younger, flame haired Vanessa Feltz....Phoarrr!

I saw Barney a bit like that too. Been around a bit, no one fucks with HIM, but a bit of style with it.

I AM like Malik but with more hair, and a more golden skin. If Kim was here, he'd tell you.

See, this is what it's all about. Someone brought me coffee an hour ago. Has the world stopped? Well yes I suppose.

Gorilla Bananas said...

That's right Kim, it's like the difference between juggling midgets for fun or doing it as a circus act.

Good luck with the book, Dr. Try and work in the anecdote about catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realising you didn't have golden skin. That was a great one.

fatmammycat said...

Vanessa fucking Feltz? Vanessa fucking Feltz!? SB, I'm already having a rough day-what with people I thought were alive turning up dead and all that, now this has thrown me for a loop.
I would have reeled away in shock if it wasn't for the fact that I am already in my comfy chair. I suppose I can spin it around in shock, but it hardly has the same impact.
Barney, I'm glad you're not going. I like you blog and I check it every day, you are as much a part of my routine now as brushing my teeth and checking my pubes for grey hairs. None so far- but I've heard it can happen.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I imagined Dr. Maroon as a kind of cross between Brian Blessed and a tall (don't know why tall) Robin Cook (whilst he was alive, obviously).

The Art Malik thing has thrown me completely.

My problem with blogland and time and stuff is that I keep finding more and more great blogs I want to follow and there are these 2 children, (good God, they appear to be mine! Yes, no doubt about it, definitely mine) and they insist on being brought up. Like, by me and everything. Millions of years of maternal feeling is encoded into my genes so I'm compelled to put them first. But my pool of daily reads is getting bigger and bigger and therefore my time to post is getting smaller and smaller and might even pop into none-at-all at some point.

But hell, as a stay-at-home mother of 3-year old twins I know that if I didn't have some grown-up communication via blogging at some point, it would be either taking to religion or taking to gin for me. I am a Scot from a small, deeply religious but also deeply thirsty (on account of all the religion, see) Western Island so both of these are options maybe the tops of some slippery slopes from me. I prefer to blog and just drink heavily when I come home to Lewis, and most Tuesdays here. And some Saturdays too. And weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs and the like.

Blogging my own blog releases something or other and stops me shouting a lot at my kids and feeling like smashing melons when a little Lego man's hat, almost cripples my be-socked feet for the 11th time before 10am.

Bloody hell. I seem to have waffled. On and on, it looks like.

SheBah said...

FMC - I said "even if"!!! That's not really how I imagine you - I see you as a sort of auburn hybrid of Carrie and Samantha (SATC) complete with "chase me, fuck me shoes"!

the anti-barney said...

Holy fuck,thanks everyone,I hope I didn't come across as self-pitying but rather as my usual selfish self.Pretty much everyone I know here had a kind and encouraging word,wouldn't the world be lovely if people rallied around like that out "there".
Welcome aboard Sam,grab a pew.
Good luck with the book Doc.,I look forward to my free copy.

Foot Eater said...

I'm a firm believer in 'carrot-and-stick' motivational techniques. You've had enough carrots, AB, so: if you ever give up blogging we'll hunt you down and eviscerate you.

fatmammycat said...

Chase? SB I"m so easily caught it's not even sporting.

Kim Ayres said...

[Art]...Malik but with more hair, and a more golden skin

Well Doc...

Let me see...



...Aye, that was it. Dr Maroon is very like Art Malik, but with, you know, longer hair and erm... golden skin.

Can I have my kids back now Doc?

the anti-barney said...

Malik? malik?oh you mean Malachy.

Malachy Maroon,dosn't have the same ring about it though.

Kim Ayres said...

Actually he's more like Brad Pitt, but he didn't want me to let on.

Dr Maroon said...

I had a laugh the other day when the man said but I think you got the placebo. I had a laugh today at FE's mousturising antics, but laugh of the week so far, and it's only Wednesday, is Kim's bit above about Art Malik.

Oh vicious! Vicious!

Charlie said...

Good that you decided to stay i find that blogging is like being in a wilderness with nothing but a campfire. and all you can see are other campfires.

Binty McShae said...

Thank fuck you're staying around. We only just got Brewski back and now old beardy has fucked off!