Sunday, March 19, 2006

Enough to make your eyes Pop.

So,the six of us sat around expectantly,waiting for the start like
kids waiting for Christmas.None of us knew what the week
would bring but we were hoping for the best,prepared for the
worst but all in all,it should be a piece of piss.It was one of those
rare occasions where I had put myself completely in the hands
of others,professionals who had all the information they needed
at their fingertips and who had an excellent track- record at
this type of thing.

We each took our first shot of the day and looked at each other
as if we were kids at our first Disco.I would not say that I am
unaquainted with introducing chemicals to my carcass but
L.S.D. and Magic Mushrooms soaked in Poteen would not have
produced the effects that I now witnessed as the first two lads
collapsed to the ground pulling at their clothes while complain-
ing about the unbearable heat,followed quickly by two more
who started wailing like Banshees.

The second poor cunt was pulling lumps of his beard off as his
head got bigger and bigger and turned the colour of ripe black-
currants before both his eyes exploded and covered the room
in a disgusting gunge as he mercifully fell silent.Through
their own agony,the other three were oblivious to this as they
also turned into human blackcurrants,ready for harvesting.
I backed away from the tormented trio in expectation of more
exploding heads and bumped into a wide-eyed and horrified
male-nurse who I helped into the toilets,by the hair.

He'd already wet himself but his bowels opened when I banged
his head off the wall as his feet dangled a foot off the ground.

"What the fuck did you give us ?" but I didn't loosen my grip
on his windpipe,again

"What the fuck was it ?",this time I took one hand off his
scrawny neck and proceeded to gouge his eye while still
dangling him up to my height.

"The Government" he rasped

"What Government, you fuck?"

"They made us do it"

"Do, do fuckin' what."

"They made us give you anti-blogging serums." I gouged
more,ready to pop his eye out,

"But I think you got a placebo."


Kim Ayres said...

I wish I didn't understand sooooo well.

Binty McShae said...

Fuck, yeah - spot on...

fatmammycat said...

Hey, welcome back, how was the racing? Was it brilliant, did you back any winnners?

the anti-barney said...

It was never going to be too successful for me,Fmc.,as my confidence was low going in.That said,the racing was excellent and I drank less than the 4 bottles I had gathered for the occasion.

Dr Maroon said...

Did you manage to palm any of those pills I wonder. They could prove useful. The placebos sound especially handy.

the anti-barney said...

I've a bottle of them in case I bump in to Brewski.

Brewski said...

Good man yourself there AB!

Foot Eater said...

Very topical too, what with those six poor buggers in intensive care.

Binty McShae said...

Title anagram for your day...

Rosy beaver pain

the anti-barney said...

Have you fuck-all else to do,Binty?

Binty McShae said...

That about sums it up...