The Ultimate Sulk ?

The very concept of suicide that is so contemptable,abhorrent and
incomprehensible to friends,family and casual observers can also
describe the circumstance in which the suicidal finds himself.We
all know that suicide is a selfish and cowardly act,made all the
more despicable because of the effect it has on the bereaved,but
then we are not suicidal.Before you judge/condemn a suicide you
should be eternally grateful that you will never have to experience
the lung-bursting,soul-destroying pressure of drowning in a sea
of utter despair,of knowing that there is absolutely nothing you
can do to alleviate your problems except for that one final sol-
ution.Can you imagine what it is like to know,with complete
certainty that your family will be far better off without you ?

For those left behind there is only sadness,anger and guilt in
every proportion.Sadness for the loss of a loved one,anger that
he fucked off and left them behind with a mountain of shit and
guilt that he did not turn to them for help.But what suicide is
going to burden a loved one with problems so horrific and
insurmountable that he himself cannot handle ?Would you ex-
pect a terminal-cancer sufferer to want to share it with his wife
or children ?Would you ? Of course not,you would try to spare
them at all costs.The only possible solution is staring you in
the face,you must do it and not out of self-pity or just to show
them,but to spare them and protect them from the horrors,
lest they experience a fraction of what its like.

People have often remarked that such and such who has just
committed suicide must have gone through Hell in those last
few days but the opposite is true.The actual deed only takes
a few seconds,its the weeks and months leading up to the
decision to do it that is the Hell.Once the decision to go has
been made there an immediate feeling of release,all pressure
off.You are elated to know that soon your troubles will be
over,they can't get you anymore and a calmness and serenity
take the place of all the shit that went before.

Then you just do it.


Update 28/2/06 11.50 A.M.

I want to apologise for getting something off my chest that
has been there for many years while selfishly not allowing
others to comment even though they have a need to do so.

Again I stress that I do not advocate suicide but was trying
to point out that a suicide cannot see his selfishness,is blind
to reason and genuinely believes the world would be better
off without him.