Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What happens on tour.......

A (Small) number of commenters I respect suggested that I
left my last post a little up in the air but my reasons for doing
so were twofold.Firstly the prime law of Piss-Artistry states
unequivocally that what happens on tour,stays on tour.This
is to protect the innocent and also to insure that the Spouses/
partners never find out what we've been up to.Secondly,and
more importantly,there is the money,in the shape of a book

Halfway through Ahmed's (that is his first name and the
the one he prefers his friends call him ) fine single Malt, It
occurred to us,as it did to my astute blogging friends, that
a meeting of our two great cultures should not go un-
recorded.It was just the small things about each other that
fascinated us,e.g.,who would have guessed that Ahmed would
know all the words (and actions ) of "Fields of Athenry ",
while he was mesmerised when I told him that following a
bowel-movement,I always finished wiping myself with pink
Johnson's Baby Lotion( we covered a lot of topics during
the course of our six-hour bender).

Despite Ahmet's urgings,I ruled out a Joint-authorship deal
as I figured(although I didn't tell him this) there was no
point in having a baying mob of mad Mullahs after both
of us,besides,he wanted to do an arty-farty Salmanesque
type novel while I favoured publishing a more humourous
account of the meeting.What most people don't realise is
that the great author is just a glorified blogger who,having
received 21 comments for a particular post,expects at least
that number for every subsequent post,similarly,having
won the booker prize,constantly craves another,never
again to be satisfied by selling 100,000 copies and receiving
great critical reviews.I,on the other hand,simply wanted to
sell a rake of bukes and end up with a spectacular film deal.

I'm sure you will understand my reticence regarding the
above as the subject is still under discussion by both our
agents but if talks flounder,as seems likely at the moment,
you can expect further disclosures here,exclusively.


Foot Eater said...

If you'd set fire to the bugger you could have taken a photo of it and posted it with the caption Smoked Salman.

fatmammycat said...

GOd, he's such a smug looking git isn't he?

El Barbudo said...

These days he goes under the name 'Footeater' and pretends to be a blogger

Foot Eater said...

How the fuck did you get out of your cell?

Kim Ayres said...

Well I was going to comment, but I'd probably get accused of being Foot Eater because I appear on the same page.

the anti-barney said...

Now now ladies,this is not the place for insults.
Kim,one of your persona's is always welcome here,as long as you don't turn out to be you-know-who.