Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Cousin It

Rereading that last post reminded me of all the seamen in my
family including fishermen and a ships cook and also cousin It,
a pilot in one of Ireland's minor Ports.Both in and out of his
presence he is never referred to as anything else because none
of us know what to make of him.In living memory he is the only
member of the Barney clan to have never touched a drink or
cigarette,we don't know where he came from,hes the original
white sheep of the family.

It's father was the Port Pilot and It was a crewmember on the
Pilot's Launch which was used to tender the Pilot to and from
the ships and so was well qualified for the post on the death of
his father.

Came the day a British Cargo approached the harbour and on
boarding,cousin It was met by the captain,who,much to the
amusement of his crew,boomed condesendingly,

"Well Paddy,I hope you know where all the rocks are."

"Begod Captain,I don't."

"What !" spluttered the captain.

"But I know where theres none."


karilyn said...

years ago, in the 1960's my cousin paddy used to fly from JFK to Dublin for aer lingus. It was one of those viscount planes, and the radio frequency was able to be tuned as it was analogue.

paddy left jkf at 9.30 and made his way over the atlantic, he would sing a melody of dubliners hits over the radio. But the ba plane that left at the same time seemed to be doing better speed than paddy. the ex raf pilot asked paddy what the delay was and how come he was always so much slower (making nasty remarkers that paddy forgot to use the trottle).

But paddy replied "ah jayus, i can't move her any faster were packed to the rafters here.... we got always have a full load on this flight... it's like sardine central here man"

the ba pilot was flying as usual nearly a complete empty load....

but this is the truth the ba pilot's remarks were recorded and questioned in about in the parliment and investigated (not for any racial element) but the truth of why the same flight would have different loadings.
apparently the irish had the better service reputation the parlimentaty subcommittee discovered.

fatmammycat said...

MY brother was stopped driving down from Dublin on that section of road after the Kilpedder. In other words he was hooring along. The Guard who pulled him over said
'Are ya lost son?'
'Er..' my brother helpfully said. 'No.'
'Oh,' says he, 'I though you might be looking for the runway. Any faster and you were going to take off.'

Binty McShae said...

FMC - First rule of being a cop, a military officer, or indeed a teacher... if you're going to be a bastard, fine - but be a bastard with a sense of humour!

the anti-barney said...

Karilyn,thanks for popping in,I don't think it would happen nowadays as their reputation is shot to shit.
Was he on his way to Annacurra Fmc.?

Binty,nice to see you again,are you still ailing or was that an A.F. thing that went a gee-hair too far?

Dr Maroon said...

I wondered at that too.
Takes it too far, bluff called, strange spots turn out to be big sister's nail varnish but by then he can't hand back the grapes and chocolates and postal orders from aunts and uncles who think he's dying.

fatmammycat said...

I don't believe he was Barney, no.