Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A LITTLE EARLY

We all know Hallow'een,Christmas and Easter come earlier every year,to the shops they do anyway,but for the love of Jaysus,the way we're going we'll be starting to fret about Y3K before we know it.Christmassy stuff and all the Hallow'een and Easter shite appearing in shops need not effect most people except to serve as early warning systems that the bastards are coming,as a matter of fact,it's a pity shops do'nt carry anniversary stuff to save us fucking up "our special day" .No,the only ones usually annoyed by this are mothers of young children and babies,and they deserve it for having them.As we all should realise,there is a fuckin' dreadful shortage of babies and children in the world.

What really pisses me off is constant eruptions and ejaculations of Bangers and Fireworks since the end of the summer.You'd never think the fuckin' things were illegal the way the little cunts are going around with them.Just what sort of imbecilic wankbeans buy fireworks in late summer anyway?And the price of them,when I was selling bangers in Moore St.,we never,ever started selling them till ten days before Hallow'een.The price was 10 for five bob,and the odd micky-mouse firework would be 2/-.(work that out for your homework).They are definately getting louder as well,I know this because my hearing is going or so they tell me,
repeatedly.

What is the point of fireworks and bangers,the noisy bastards,is it just to annoy everyone?Well that it does.I can understand that they use them in China to frighten off demons,
it's their culture and they're welcome to it.Where the fuck are the demons around here,a smattering of Republican splinter groups and a geefull of al-Qai'da,looking for their 77 virgins.Do
you think bangs and rockets are going to frighten them?,no fuckin' way,it'l only encourage them
to hurry along their Absinthe-riddled plans in case they miss the boat.

Any gobshite letting off fireworks or bangers,and especially those in-bred half-wits who started over a month ago deserve to be shot with balls of their own shite.That they may blow their fingers off both hands and never be able to wank again,wankers.

7 comments:

Dr Maroon said...

Fireworks banned in the Free State? That’s a bit ironic no? You can hardly cut a turf without putting the loy through a bag of Semtex.

Andraste said...

VP is right! You hear them at all hours here, too. 2AM, the assholes are out there blasting their firecrackers, and when you ask them what the hell they're thinking, they say "Oh, it's Casey's birthday." Well, Casey's fucking 11, and should be in bed! They need to be sterilized and then have their toys taken away, the idiots.

LindyK said...

I went to a wedding ruined by fireworks -- we were all supposed to light them and make a kind of tunnel for the bride and groom to run through on their way out to the limo (good idea, right?!)... big surprise when the shower of sparks caught the bride's dress on fire... then the hairspray in her hairdo went up... made quite a whoosh. Guess they won't use fireworks again...

Andraste said...

Lindy, excellent!

the anti-barney said...

See,I told you,good for nothing,useless,fuckin' things.

LindyK said...

I thought it was rather hilarious indeed... you should have seen the girl's face -- priceless. The good thing about it being at a wedding was that a whole group of people learned the lesson by proxy -- much more effective than one eejit at a time...

SexyBeauty said...

Now me, I love a good bang.