tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-181167342024-03-13T10:43:09.714-07:00Vaporise BarneyUnemployed,semi-retired or mid-life crisis/crossroads?the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.comBlogger162125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1283395606086673062010-10-15T12:10:00.000-07:002010-10-23T03:39:07.673-07:00Los Treinte Y TresI can't get away from the uncomfortable feeling that the <br />Chilean Miners were poxed in luck to be trapped in that<br />"Third World " country rather than this Shithole of a <br />failed State that we call a Country.<br />Had we got anything worth mining, and had we got a Mining<br />Industry, and had our unfortunate miners been trapped <br />following an infrastructure collapse of some description,<br />I doubt they would ever have been located,never mind a <br />rescue attempt.<br />If, by some stroke of luck, they were located after 17 <br />days, our Glorious Government, having formed a Committee <br />to employ Consultants, to establish a Quango, eventually<br />recall the Dail to inform a News Conference that there<br />is no money available to attempt a rescue at this time,<br />but that the Irish people would send down an adequate <br />supply of Iodine Tablets, along with some surplus Butter<br />Vouchers left over from the Eighties.<br />Not that I couldn't see a Government-Jetful of our <br />preening, self-important, expences-fiddling failures<br />of Gobshite Ministers Junketing off to Chile, but only<br />to ascertain the most efficient method of suppressing<br />Democracy.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-9126151589979363612008-12-18T00:25:00.000-08:002008-12-18T01:04:43.718-08:00Can they leave nuthin' alone ?There I was the other day, going about my business in a mild<br />and inoffensive way when I came across this !<br /><br /><br />"There is one Christmas song that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, <br />swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas? <br /><br /><br />This week, I found out.<br /><br />From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were<br />not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone<br />during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. <br />It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning <br />plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each<br />element in th e carol has a code word for a religious reality<br />which the children could remember. <br /><br /><br />-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Chris t. <br /><br /><br />-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments. <br /><br />-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love. <br /><br />-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John. <br /><br />-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament. <br /><br />-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation. <br /><br />-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy. <br /><br />-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes. <br /><br />-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, <br /><br /> Gentleness, and Self Control. <br /><br />-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments. <br /><br />-The eleven pipers piping stood for the ele ven fa ithful disciples. <br /><br />-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.<br /><br />So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Chris tmas Carol...so p ass it on if you wish.'"<br /><br /><br />It may even be true but I think it's just more revisionist<br />twaddle from our favourite Neo-Cons.<br />However, it got me thinking about the song itself and what<br />the words might really mean, so here goes ;<br /><br />The Partridge in the tree is so obviously a Turkey that there<br />can be no dispute.<br /><br />The 2 Turtle Doves have to be the Parents.<br /><br />Three French Hens would then be their Kids anxiously awaiting<br />the great day.<br /><br />Four Calling Birds will then be the much dreaded visit of the<br />In-laws.<br /><br />Five Gold ( Red ) Rings demonstrate the unfortunate result <br />of an ill-advised visit to McDonalds during a shopping trip.<br /><br />Six Lordly Geese a-milking............. come on folks,<br />help me out here.....................the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-19105293310748630372008-12-05T12:12:00.000-08:002008-12-05T12:38:54.992-08:00Rather ChillyMy house is one of those barns that the Greens are<br />always on about, you know the type, Stifling hot <br />all Summer and like a Cold-room in the Winter, I'd<br />swear I could lease it out to a butcher for hanging<br />meat.The reasons that the oul' insulation is not<br />state of the art are manyfold, laziness and meaness<br />among them but mainly because I've had other plans <br />for the property that are now on hold due to the<br />present economic climate.<br />What has this got to do with you ?, you may wonder,<br />and not much if the truth were to be told, ( a rare<br />and wonderous thing on this blog )except that my<br />Computer is in the Hallway of said house and it's<br />fucking freezing here, hence the lack of posts.<br />I did, however, come across this<br /><br />http://www.lufthansa-usa.com/useugame2007/html/play.html <br /><br />and it's great Craic altogether, if a little addictive.<br />I'd swear it's how Ryanair chose their Destinations.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-20186869613083492572008-11-27T02:37:00.000-08:002008-11-27T03:09:31.732-08:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SS55L-rNGPI/AAAAAAAAADM/J72eMv-PTPk/s1600-h/cowenHarney1_238302t+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 294px; height: 252px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SS55L-rNGPI/AAAAAAAAADM/J72eMv-PTPk/s400/cowenHarney1_238302t+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273285460407163122" /></a><br /><br />I'm not going to shoot fish in a barrel and joke about<br />Mary Harney's beauty treatments <br /><br /> But I ax you, If a single parent<br />asked for , say, 20 euro, for a hairdo for a job interview<br />what would be the answer ? Why do these Ministers and top<br />Civil Servants need their salaries of 200 grand plus ?, <br />do they ever spend a cent of their own money ? <br />The Chairman of Harvey Norman ( more about them later )<br />says the economic lanscape in Ireland is akin to the <br />Potato Famine and perhaps he's right except this time<br />it's our own who are robbing and cheating us and generally<br />making things worse for every one now and for the forseeable<br />future.<br />When Harvey Norman first came to these shores I forbade<br />Malicia from ever darkening their doors simply because<br />of their Ads. I refuse to be bellowed at by some loud-<br />mouthed Australian, so now ,fuck off and Go Harvey Go. <br /><br />http://www.independent.ie/national-news/harney-the-fas-trip-and-the-410-hairdo-1554731.htmlthe anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-18165147938742791922008-11-25T09:29:00.000-08:002008-11-25T10:16:28.973-08:00Minister for Finance<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNA1D1DS5Fg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNA1D1DS5Fg</a>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-68925528165699281432008-11-21T12:35:00.001-08:002008-11-21T13:48:41.275-08:00X RatedNever took to Simon Cowell, the little shortarse bollix off the<br />X Factor, and his teeth are far too white to be wholesome,<br />what sort of an Englishman has those ? Is he ashamed of<br />his culture or what ? Not to mention his smarminess and<br />his wonderful opinion of himself , nor his crimes against the<br />aural senses.<br />And that was before his present incarnation wherby he, his<br />pet poodle bitch-boy Louis Walsh and the twins, Vapid and<br />Vacuous insult and degrade unfortunates whose selfish and<br />money-grabbing families have convinced them have a<br />modicum of talent, reducing them to tearful, broken wrecks<br />after queing for hours for the priviledge of being humiliated.<br />All for our delight and delectation, and to make more money<br />for shortarse.<br />This is bad enough, but having weeded out the hopeless , the<br />infirm and the downright useless, appalling conestants, the<br />circus begins to find who will win the competition and be the<br />Christmas no.1, the best-selling Single of Christmas week.<br />Cowell and his horrid crew are telling US what we will be<br />buying at Christmas. Only it's not us who'll be doing the<br />buying, the fact that you're here means you have some<br />semblance of a brain, so you won't fall for his shite. Nor any<br />of the usual suspects who chose what music they down-load<br />or purchase with their hard-earned. No, the only ones who<br />are guaranteed to fall for this annual super-con are the pre-<br />teens and 12/13 year olds who are desperately trying to be<br />cool in the eyes of their friends and siblings, making their<br />first foray into the few Record Stores that are left open.<br /> This is where I have the problem in that every show from<br />now to the end of the series is just a glorified grooming pro-<br />cess for these children to get them to put whoever he, Cowell,<br />choses into the no.1 slot, on the week he chooses. To my mind<br />it is a form of legalised paedophilia.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-50736676987186164342008-11-14T03:52:00.000-08:002008-11-14T03:53:47.965-08:00<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SR1msl1bXPI/AAAAAAAAAC8/cCf5aNQrjec/s1600-h/Fuck+it+(2).jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5268480055349828850" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 277px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SR1msl1bXPI/AAAAAAAAAC8/cCf5aNQrjec/s400/Fuck+it+(2).jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-29808356909611224092008-11-11T12:53:00.001-08:002008-11-11T13:18:53.723-08:00Split-Stomach DayDo you know what day it is today ? I thought not. It's only the<br />feast day of St. Martin of Tours, patron saint of Vintners and<br />Drunkards and also just happens to be the day for starting to<br />drink wine from the new grape vintage, tradition goes.<br />It was also, in my father's time, the traditional day for<br />slaughtering the pig that wouldn't gain any more over the<br />Winter, only eating and wasting valuable feed. The butchered<br />carcass would be layered in a tea-chest with copious quantities<br />of salt ,best bits on the bottom and ending up with the shoulder,<br />hocks, cheeks and trotters on top.<br />Quite often ,if it had been a very large pig, all the meat could<br />not be cured in this way and whatever could not be saved<br />was feasted on for a few days of Martinmas, the last feast<br />before Christmas, which is why Martinmas was always known<br />as Split-Stomach Day .the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-80112033549690922442008-11-06T07:32:00.001-08:002008-11-06T07:41:10.525-08:00<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SRMPDCLB-rI/AAAAAAAAACs/q5Rihd4JqJQ/s1600-h/settling+in.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265568934123403954" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 347px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SRMPDCLB-rI/AAAAAAAAACs/q5Rihd4JqJQ/s400/settling+in.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br />If only some of my dogs had been this quick out of the traps !the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-88282875240898103482008-11-05T11:29:00.000-08:002008-11-05T12:00:26.464-08:00StatesideIsn't it great to see that after 2 hard years of trials and<br />tribulations, even as many doubted his resolve, his ability<br />to succeed at the very top, where most observers felt<br />there to be no place for a young, vibrant non-white in a<br />world dominated by rich white men that the world can<br />no longer deny the talents of Lewis Hamilton.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SRH6sp6BA6I/AAAAAAAAACc/6IynSfit644/s1600-h/200px-LewisHamilton_2_2007_amk.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265265084443198370" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SRH6sp6BA6I/AAAAAAAAACc/6IynSfit644/s400/200px-LewisHamilton_2_2007_amk.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><p></p><br /><p><br /><br /> </p><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-36102855578770028322008-11-01T13:34:00.000-07:002008-11-01T13:52:35.164-07:00SuspendersI was about to finish my story but have decided to suspend<br /><br />myself for 1 week because of my unacceptable behaviour<br /><br />and gross misconduct.<br />In the meantime I leave you a touch of class ;<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFgA5_f8V18&feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFgA5_f8V18&feature=related</a>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-7483700878182653612008-10-16T04:53:00.000-07:002008-10-19T11:44:22.126-07:00And then...............................<span style="font-size:85%;"></span><div align="left"><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /></div><p align="left"><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">The following takes us beyond the edge of decency, again, if you are easily</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">offended, I thought I told you to fuck off.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><br /><br /><br />After the night I had just experienced I knew I could die a<br /><br /><br /><br />happy man, but not just yet, not without a drink first, at least.<br /><br /><br />My temple was throbbing as much as my "head" was<br /><br /><br />last night.<br /><br /><br /><br />" I suppose a drink is out of the question."<br /><br /><br /><br />WHACK. Mbosi lashed the hilt across my shin.<br /><br /><br /><br />He was not a large man, rather on the small side, petite even,<br /><br /><br /><br />all right, he was a fuckin' dwarf and the little bollix was enjoying<br /><br /><br /><br />our present circumstance.<br /><br /><br /><br />" Fuck you, I want a drink."<br /><br /><br /><br />WHACK.<br /><br /><br /><br />Thinks......... " Rule 1, Do not aggravate a Dwarf with a bayonet "<br /><br /><br /><br />" I am not happy." said Mbosi.<br /><br /><br /><br />" well which one are you ?" God help me, I couldn't resist it.<br /><br /><br /><br />WHACK WHACK.<br /><br /><br /><br />Obviously not the first time he heard it.<br /><br /><br /><br />Thinks............ " Rule 2, for fuck's sake, heed rule 1.<br /><br /><br /><br />" Mr. Barney, you have something I and my large organization<br /><br /><br /><br />want and need."<br /><br /><br /><br />" If you keep flicking that bayonet, you'll have something <strong>I</strong><br /><br /><br /><br />want and need."<br /><br /><br /><br />WHACK.<br /><br /><br /><br />Thinks.................... " Jaysus.", says............<br /><br /><br /><br />" Fuck you, shortarse, who let you out ? "<br /><br /><br /><br />WHACK.<br /><br /><br /><br />" Where did you learn to scam ? You must've gone to the<br /><br /><br /><br />George Bush school of scamming.<br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>WHACK WHACK...........................WHACK.</strong><br /><br /><br />Thinks.................... Rule 1, rule 1, for fucks sake, rule 1.<br /><br /><br /><br />" Do you know," says the little bollix, I was quite hoping you'd<br /><br /><br /><br />be un-cooperative, we'll see how cocky you are when we're<br /><br /><br /><br />finished with you." He reached down and produced a small<br /><br /><br /><br />leather case and slowly unzipped it.<br /><br /><br /><br />" O.K. Rosie, you know what to do."<br /><br /><br /><br />Jesus, did she know. Out of the case he palmed a video camera<br /><br /><br /><br />as Rosie begun to caress my tenderest bits. It was plain to all<br /><br /><br /><br />that I was heroically trying to ignore Rosie's devilish ministrations,<br /><br /><br /><br />no more than reasonably successfully when Katya intervened.<br /><br /><br /><br />" Perhaps I can encourage him." she said slyly and Mbosi<br /><br /><br /><br />nodded his agreement.<br /><br /><br /><br />Thinks....................I'm bolloxed now.<br /><br /><br /><br />She rummaged about on the table and came up behind me<br /><br /><br /><br />with a tumbler full of Hennessy, cradled my head with one<br /><br /><br /><br />hand and poured the French-style water-of-life into my<br /><br /><br /><br />parched mouth and I could've sworn she gave me a con-<br /><br /><br /><br />piratorial wink as she did so, she also " cradled " my other<br /><br /><br /><br />bits when she'd emptied the glass.<br /><br /><br /><br />It wasn't exactly my idea of torture, I thought, as the<br /><br /><br /><br />brandy kicked in and the chemicals of the previous night<br /><br /><br /><br />released their residue. I'll tell you one thing, that Rosie<br /><br /><br /><br />knew her job, I'd swear she could suck the chrome off a<br /><br /><br /><br />tow-bar ball-hitch. I closed my eyes and let nature and<br /><br /><br />Rosie take its course and just as the fireworks started,<br /><br /><br />the fireworks started.</p>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-88762786908413656922008-10-15T11:31:00.000-07:002008-10-16T10:08:13.104-07:00Lagos<em><span style="font-size:85%;">The following narration takes us to the very edge of decency and good</span></em><br /><br /><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">taste so anyone among you who is easily offended can fuck off right now.</span></em><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I don't know who or what they were expecting but<br />whatever it was, I wasn't it.<br />I had arrived hot and bothered with my feet feeling<br />like a pair of pig's trotters so I stripped off bollick-<br />naked and guzzled the contents of my little bar and<br />rang down to order more ,Hennessy, Smirnoff Blue and<br />Jaegermeister, at least pint bottles thereof, and don't<br />make me go down to yis, or there'll be wigs on the Green.<br />So I perforformed my ablutions, s,s&s and was busy<br />modelling one of those towelly dressing-gowns, Jesus,<br />do they not make them in mens sizes ? Think of a cross<br />between a Sixties Brigitte Bardot and the Incredible Hulk,<br />nice legs though.<br />My reverie was interupted by a light tap on the door, too<br />light for a porter, I thought, as I answered and how<br />right I was because what met my gaping face was one<br />of the tallest, darkest, most sensual women I had ever<br />clapped eyes on followed by an even more exotic blonde.<br />" Mr. Mbosi sent us to keep you company until he can<br />join us." purred Rosie<br />" He hopes you will excuse his tardiness " added Katya<br />as they introduced themselves.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5255148626565489266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SO4J1ThRYnI/AAAAAAAAAA8/V01_oyNNXQg/s400/alesha_dixon_1.jpg" border="0" /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SO4J1SqUdsI/AAAAAAAAABE/8el9YztJGtI/s1600-h/ola-jordan-sexy.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5255148626335004354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/SO4J1SqUdsI/AAAAAAAAABE/8el9YztJGtI/s400/ola-jordan-sexy.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><p></p><br /><br /><p></p><br /><br /><p><br />They then proceeded to do more for me than any<br />woman has done for a long time. Katya managed to<br />tune Sky Sports in ,which I had been unable to do,<br />while Rosie poured me a tumbler of Smirnoff Blue<br />and rang room service for some Champagne and 3<br />plates of Lobster Thermidor, the speciality of the<br />hotel.<br />As the evening passed I pretended not to notice them<br />adding something to each drink they fixed for me and<br />I can't say what it was thay added, I do, however,<br />know what I added to theirs. You have never lived<br />'til you see the effect an Ecstacy and a Cialis tablet<br />have on even the most modest of women, and this<br />pair of beauts were certainly far from modest.<br />I popped a couple of Dexys myself in case whatever<br />they had given me was not strong enough and<br />watched them getting jiggy with each other, suffice<br />to say, there was not a dry seat in the house.<br />Such a fucking night we had, or should that be the<br />other way around.<br />I was awakened rather roughly the next morning<br />by our Mr. Mbosi, as I discovered him to be,<br />poking a knife into my goolies and when I tried to<br />jump up found my wrists handcuffed to either<br />side of the Four-poster.<br />He held in his hand a bayonet of some sort with a large hilt</p><br /><br /><p>affixed to a blade which must have been at least a foot long</p><br /><br /><p>and he was flicking at my balls as a fisherman would flick lice off</p><br /><p>a wild Salmon.</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><p></p>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-45078729257766104922008-10-12T10:33:00.000-07:002008-10-12T12:04:47.548-07:00Never saw it coming.<p>" What would you like for Christmas this year?"<br />"There is nothing you have not given me already."<br />"But there must be something, my darling."<br />"Absolutely nothing, my precious "<br />" Would you like a new hat ? "<br />"I have at least twenty."<br />"A nice grey Homburg, my dearest ? "<br />"I really don't think so, light of my life. "<br />"Matching gloves and scarf, blood of my veins ? "<br />" Really Ellie, there is nothing I want "<br />"My poor Nikki, you've been so down lately that I<br />just wanted to take your mind off things."<br />"Things will improve in the new year, you'll see, we<br />might take a long weekend somewhere."<br />"Really Nikki, Where would we go ?"<br />"Oh, anywhere, Moscow, perhaps."<br />" Thats exactly what we need, I really don't think I<br />can cope with any more bad news at the moment,<br />its just one thing after another."<br />"I've told you ,dearest Ellie, we'll be allright, we<br />did not make the same silly mistakes all the<br />others made."<br />" But they all seemed so strong, so secure."<br />" Their foundations were shaky and they took their<br />eyes off the ball, gave too much, too easily."<br />" Its heartbreaking to see them drop, one by one."<br />" It won't happen here, dearest Elena "<br />" you said it wouldn't happen in Poland." She sighed,<br />" Or Hungary, or Czechoslovakia and two weeks ago,<br />Bulgaria."<br />" We've ruled here for 21 years, they wouldn't dare,<br />besides, the people love us." said Nicolae. </p><p>One week later, this happened on Christmas Day 1989.<br /><br /></p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1197686162/Footage_Up_to_and_After_the_Execution_of_Nicolae_Ceausescu"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 352px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="402" alt="" src="http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1197686162/Footage_Up_to_and_After_the_Execution_of_Nicolae_Ceausescu" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />I wonder was it the same for the Aztecs just before the end?<br />Were the citizens of Rome, even as Aleric and his horde of<br />Visigoths advanced on their once great city, still hoping for<br />some kind of miracle, as their leaders faffed about with<br />mickey-mouse solutions ? Did they not see the end coming?<br />Do we ?the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-86482188928434973692008-10-05T06:07:00.000-07:002008-10-09T12:24:04.118-07:00Who wants to be ..........................<span style="font-size:78%;">For my friends, Doc. & Kim.....</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div align="left">Some of you may have been wondering where I was and</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left">what I was up to for the last while and the simple answer is</div><br /><div align="left">that it's none of your damn business, sorry, only joking.</div><br /><div align="left">Funnily enough , the truth is much stranger than any </div><br /><div align="left">fiction my warped mind could conjure so brace yourselves,</div><br /><div align="left">pour a stiff one and sit back while I relate all that I can</div><br /><div align="left">remember about the beginning of an eventful time. If there</div><br /><div align="left">is any lie in what follows, it wasn't me who put it there and</div><br /><div align="left">all characters are non-ficticious.</div><br /><div align="left">Malicia and me had been going through one of our rough </div><br /><div align="left">passages, not the marriage, I hasten to add, that was as</div><br /><div align="left">bad as ever and nothing changes there but financially </div><br /><div align="left">things were getting a bit ropey with some of the tenants</div><br /><div align="left">falling behind with their rent. Then there had been a </div><br /><div align="left">series of bad decisions made on the oul' equine front but</div><br /><div align="left">worst of all my Organic Local Farmer's Market stall had </div><br /><div align="left">been closed down by the Corporation because of a raft </div><br /><div align="left">of spurious suggestions, allegations and petitions that my </div><br /><div align="left">goods were not organic or local and furthermore had the</div><br /><div align="left">flimsiest aquaintance with farmers of any description. I</div><br /><div align="left"><em>might</em> be able to grow figs, kiwi fruit and blood oranges for all </div><br /><div align="left">they knew, the fuckers, organic ones at that.</div><br /><div align="left">Things had become so bad that Malicia had to forego her daily</div><br /><div align="left">chin, moustache and leg waxing sessions and go twice weekly</div><br /><div align="left">instead. If the situation got any worse I would have to send</div><br /><div align="left">some of my girlfriends back Pole-dancing while any further</div><br /><div align="left">deterioration in my finances would necessitate taking some</div><br /><div align="left">of the Gardai off my payroll, don't talk to me about appalling</div><br /><div align="left">vistas.</div><br /><div align="left">So there I was one morning about to start a busy day at the</div><br /><div align="left">office, i.e. log into Betfair, when I decided to check my </div><br /><div align="left">e-mails and holy fuck, hadn't all my prayers been answered.</div><br /><div align="left">There it was, in black and white, hadn't I only gone and won</div><br /><div align="left">$ 1.5 million on the Nigerian Lottery. Now this was a complete</div><br /><div align="left">surprise to me as I had completely forgotten to play it that </div><br /><div align="left">week so I could only assume that they were working a back-</div><br /><div align="left">week or something like that. Now I know what you're thinking</div><br /><div align="left">and I had heard some vague rumours as well about possible</div><br /><div align="left">scams emanating from Nigeria but this notification was from</div><br /><div align="left">a bank manager so God bless their little black arses was all I </div><br /><div align="left">could think, my just reward for all the pennies I gave to </div><br /><div align="left">" the Black Babies " as a chiseller, fair play to me. All I had to</div><br /><div align="left">do was to send some of my bank details to a Mr. Mbosi at the</div><br /><div align="left">Royal Nigerian Bank in Lagos. Fuckin' sure, says I, and I did.</div><br /><div align="left">I suppose you know whats coming next, well you don't, </div><br /><div align="left">smart-arse. I went on an unholy bender for 10 days and</div><br /><div align="left">only finished when I came to in Holyhead in a taxi on the</div><br /><div align="left">way to a Registry Office where a "Quare One " had </div><br /><div align="left">persuaded me to marry her, but thats another story and I'll</div><br /><div align="left">tell you about it some other time.</div><br /><div align="left">So I sneaked home, waited for Malicia to leave and went in</div><br /><div align="left">to check the mail. Sweet Gee, do you know what was left in</div><br /><div align="left">my bank account, of course you do, there was sweet fuck-all.</div><br /><div align="left">The sneaky fuckers had only gone and sucked out my com-</div><br /><div align="left">plete overdraft of 167,453 euros and 49 cents, which the </div><br /><div align="left">bank had been trying to retrieve for ages, and left me with</div><br /><div align="left">no hold over the bank manager, and worse still, no winnings.</div><br /><div align="left">Even to my addled brain those exchange rates didn't calculate</div><br /><div align="left">correctly and $1.5 mill. did not equal E 167,453.49 so I </div><br /><div align="left">reckoned someone owed me about 950.000 euros, fuck it,</div><br /><div align="left">call it a million and I'll say nothing. Now, who to collect it</div><br /><div align="left">from ?, and where could I find this little bollix, Mbosi.</div><br /><div align="left">You won't believe this, but just then the 'phone rang and</div><br /><div align="left">who do you think it was, yes, some fucker selling kitchens,</div><br /><div align="left">and while I was giving him his pedigree the 'phone bleeped</div><br /><div align="left">and this time who was it only the bould Mbosi himself,</div><br /><div align="left">bold as brass.</div><br /><div align="left">" I think we should meet, Mr Barney. " says he.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">" Theres some explaining to be done all right." says I.</div><br /><div align="left"></div><br /><div align="left">Which is how I found myself in the top floor suite of</div><br /><div align="left">the Sheraton Lagos Hotel and Towers.</div><br /><br /><br /><div align="left"></div>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-60337714276628166932008-10-05T05:57:00.000-07:002008-10-05T06:04:36.868-07:00ResultSuch was the power of this blog that two days after<br />that last posting the sneaky little bollix resigned and<br />as some of you may know, Ireland voted to reject the<br />Lisbon Treaty and hopefully save Europe from even<br />more Scutterology ( abuse of power by unelected<br />un-civil servants).the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-18814546159997092892008-04-01T07:05:00.000-07:002008-04-01T09:23:54.062-07:00Lisbon Treaty<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/R_JBzpzAjBI/AAAAAAAAAAM/yUBCTyeWTDM/s1600-h/ahernathon.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5184278476705795090" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3WH3PY2esw/R_JBzpzAjBI/AAAAAAAAAAM/yUBCTyeWTDM/s400/ahernathon.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Anyone who has no great interest in Politics ,has no interest in the E.C. or</div><div> has no interest in the future of Ireland will be dazed and confused by all</div><div>the furore about the upcoming Referendum on the Lisbon Treaty.</div><div> </div><div>The answer is simple, Just wait to see what the Liar Ahern advocates, </div><div> </div><div>then go out and<strong> Do the opposite.</strong></div>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1171968706185731742007-02-20T02:45:00.000-08:002007-02-20T02:57:32.803-08:00Not My Work<span style="font-size:130%;">I didn't write this, but I wish to fuck I did.</span><br /><br />I got it in an e-mail, but I like to think it is something that I might<br />have posted if I was still active.<br /><br /><br /><br />RTE News 15th February 2007 18.02<br /><br />British & Irish Governments Plan Ceremony in Croke Park Northern IrelandMinister Peter Hain has announced details of a joint ceremony before Irelands crunch game against England in Croke Park on the 24th February.The significance of the game is not lost on GAA followers and republicans who remember the infamous shooting of 14 players and supporters by the British Army on the 21st November 1921.However according to GAA spokesman U Magee a plan being devised by the GAA and the Northern Ireland office, will attempt to draw a line under the incident."We've spoken to the British government and they understand the significance of the event back in 1921. Back then 14 people were killed by British forces so in the spirit of the peace process and friendship we're proposing that we shoot 14 of their lot before the match. Then maybe have fireworks afterwards or something." Said Mr Magee.<br /><br />Government Reaction<br /><br />The plan has had a mixed reaction from Downing Street. Prime Minister Tony Blair thinks the idea has merit but said that it needs to be done properly and with dignity."Frankly I think its a small price to pay for progression in Anglo-Irish affairs, but I think the idea of getting Ray Houghton to do the shooting would be too much for many English fans to take particularly after his goal against us back in 1988. And he's Scottish which is worse."<br /><br />Proposed Victims<br /><br />According to informed sources, the GAA and Number 10 have already drawn up a list of names for those to be shot. The list, which is not yet agreed, is thought to be a compromise of people that both the Irish and English public dislike. Among the names are moaney-hole singer James Blunt, foul mouth idiot Jade Goody, Trinny & Suzannah, Man Utd donkey Rio Ferdinand, cream cake expert Vanessa Feltz, "comedian" Russell Brand and any of the blokes who do outside broadcasts for Sky News.But discussions took an ironic twist when both sides agreed on shooting Belfastsinger Brian Kennedy, but neither side agreed on what nationality he was. GAA representatives claim he's British with their Foreign Office counterparts claiming he's Irish. The Irish claimed no Irishman should sing or dance in such a manner and the English saying he couldn't be a Brit because he had no tattoos on his forearm and didn't wear Ben Sherman shirts. However there was eventual consensus that he should be shot regardless of his nationality.Plans agreedThe shooting will be carried out my members of the 2nd Infantry Battalion from Cathal Brugha Barracks in Dublin. The original idea to get the FCA to carry out the executions were dropped when they revealed that their rifles are in fact made of baked-plastercine. Similarly the Garda Emergency Response Unit was discounted for fear they'd shoot more innocent civilians then claim overtime for it.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1166372297648117202006-12-17T16:08:00.000-08:002006-12-17T08:21:53.383-08:00Too Good Not to Share<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/76/1765/1600/570585/ATT910251.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/76/1765/320/985286/ATT910251.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This is an actual emergency room photo of a fisherman who lost control of his high-speed bass boat in West Virginia . Wardens believe that he was traveling at a speed of approximately 75 MPH at the time of the accident.He was unable to negotiate a curve in the narrow waterway.Unfortunately for him, upon striking the shoreline and being ejected from the boat,he landed back end first on an old fence post. You can probably picture what happened next, but the attached picture really says it all.The good news is that after about 6 months, this man made a full recovery after suffering a shattered hip, broken leg, several broken ribs, internal injuries and soft tissue damage. Doctors credited his recovery to the fact that the post lodged itself so tightly that there was little or no blood loss. Now that's got to hurt!!!the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1157725196943150022006-09-08T15:10:00.000-07:002006-09-08T07:22:59.093-07:00Where's me fuckin' dog ?This blogosphere has gone to fuck,I just stepped out for a<br />minute and some whore's bastard robbed my guard-dog.<br />If you come across him, let me know and there'll be a<br />bottle of Jaegermeister in it for you.You'll know it is him<br />because of the teeth-marks you'll have all over your body.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">As I'm here.</span><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"></span><br />All I'm saying is , wouldn't you have to feel a bit sorry for<br />that Wolfgang Priklopil,imagine,eight years without a<br />holiday,or even a day off.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1154102994105834622006-07-28T16:49:00.000-07:002006-07-28T09:09:54.213-07:00From the Navajo Beautyway Healing Chart.<span style="font-size:130%;">All that has harmed me will leave me,</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">leaving my body cool once more.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Within me today,I shall be well.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">All fever will come from me,</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">and leave me,leave my brow cool.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I will hear today</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">and see today</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">and be my own true self today.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">This is the day I shall walk.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">This is the day when all that is ill will leave me</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">and I shall be as I was,</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">as I walk in a cool body.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">This day onwards I shall be happy</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">for nothing will prevent me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I shall walk and beauty will go before me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I shall walk and beauty will be behind me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I shall walk and beauty will be above me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I shall walk and beauty will be beneath me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I shall walk and beauty will surround me.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">I shall walk and speak of beauty.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">For the rest of my days I shall be whole,</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">for all things are beautiful.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">Sin e.</span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">A.B. has left the building.</span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1153473517113570992006-07-21T09:14:00.000-07:002006-07-21T02:18:37.150-07:00Chosen People me ArseIf there is a God he chose the wrong fuckin' people.<br /><br />A pox on the bloodthirsty bastards and their warmongering<br />sponsors.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1152967116154260952006-07-15T14:15:00.000-07:002006-07-15T05:38:36.186-07:0020 Eyes for an Eye.I was going to have a rant about the Israelis today but there<br />really is no point as they have the most effective and efficient<br />public relations outfit that has ever been known.The only one<br />that has ever come close to them belongs to the murdering<br />babykillers we have up the North.You would have to wonder<br />why anyone ever asks a spokesperson from Israel or from<br />Sinn Fein anything because all you ever get is the usual oul'<br />"poor us" spiel that they've been spouting for years,everything<br />is everybody's fault but theirs,no matter who they happen to<br />be holocausting.All I'm saying is that they've learnt well from<br />the real founder of the state of Israel,Mr. A. Hitler.<br /><br />Just sometimes you'd think that it might almost be worth not<br />having any petrol for a while because of some Hamas splinter<br />group having some kind of Dirty bomb.All I can do is not buy<br />any Avocado pears or other "Carmel" brands.Cunts.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1152379081413093872006-07-08T18:16:00.000-07:002006-07-08T10:18:01.853-07:00Two Fingers.<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/76/1765/1600/untitled.gif"><img style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/76/1765/320/untitled.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>You don't have to like John Prescott,or admire him,but you have</p><p>to take your hat off to him,he's got a neck like a jockey's bollocks.</p><p>The press hate him,as do the media in general,put none of them</p><p>has landed the killer blow,as yet.His own party has as little regard</p><p>for him as the opposition,and still he hangs on in there,collecting</p><p>his obscene wages,pocketing all the expences he can manage while</p><p>living in luxury at the tax-payer's expence.On top of this,he has a </p><p>huge index-linked pension to look forward to,and in August he </p><p>gets England to play with,as his own,for a few weeks.</p><p> </p><p>How the fuck does he get away with it ? What does he know ?</p><p>He acts like he hasn't a care in the world,maybe he hasn't.He is</p><p>the exact specimen for which the word Bufoon was invented,the </p><p>reason for his continuing existence is unclear,he is as useless as</p><p>Kerry Katona ,but still.......</p><p> </p><p>Why shouldn't he play Croquet,its only a game for useless oul'</p><p>wankers anyway,and wasn't it refreshing to see his reaction</p><p>having been caught porking (how apt ) his secretary.By the way,</p><p>they did seem to be having right craic in those photos,but anyway,</p><p>he didn't do the normal cowardly thing and blackmail his wife into</p><p>posing with him while telling the world that she'll stand by him.</p><p>I bet she kicked the bollix out of him,I'd say the press was the </p><p>least of his problems when the news broke,tee hee.</p><p> </p><p>What I say is,if somebody gets up so many peoples noses,he</p><p>must be doing something right.And ask yourself this,if you <strong>had</strong> </p><p>to go for a pint with Tony Blair,Gordon Brown,David Cameron or</p><p>John Prescott,who would you rather be stuck with ?</p>the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18116734.post-1151753936015423262006-07-01T12:30:00.000-07:002006-07-01T04:40:50.533-07:00Bad NewsThey say that bad news/bad luck comes in threes.<br /><br /><strong>If fucking only</strong>.Thats all I'm saying.<br /><br />I hit a new level on the oul' gargling front this week,and me<br />after being reasonably good for ages.Last week can't be<br />counted as someone gave me a litre of Paddy,but in fairness<br />to me,I got nearly four days out of it,but there was also trips<br />to the pub.And wine and beer to help with the pressures of<br />cooking and eating,and online gambling.<br /><br />I mean,who would have thought they were serious about that<br />50 K.P.H. speed limit on the Naas dual-carriageway,fifty,for<br />fucks sake,three lanes,straight road,broad daylight,5.15 A.M.,<br />dry conditions,140 K.P.H.,2 more penalty points,cunts.<br /><br />So I was rooting around for a drink yesterday and the choice<br />boiled down to beer,which wasn't what was required,Baileys (puke)<br />or a bottle of Mulled wine,talk about Hobson's choice.Still,it<br />wasn't too bad once I got halfway down.<br /><br />I mean,if you were doing 50 in those conditions,you might be in<br />danger of stepping out of the car to see if you were stopped.the anti-barneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10963754274280166100noreply@blogger.com7